Confusion
by BeyondInsanity
Summary: Sasuke thinks about Naruto and has to face his feelings. SasuNaru slash.
1. Chapter 1

That's the third time.

The third time he's asked me why I saved him. But I can't answer because I don't know.

Why?

Why in all the hells did I?

Haku could've killed me. I have a dream, things to live for! But… the possibility of his death doesn't exist for me. He must live. I would give my life for him! Again, why? But I DON'T LIKE NARUTO!

Right? Right? Maybe I love him... Wait WHAT?

No way. No way. Nowaynowaynowaynoway. Because it impossible.

It has to be. But it isn't and I'm lost. Truly, desperately, lost. What now? Where do I go from here? Keep seeing him every single day and die a little inside?

"Sasuke?"

my heart skips a beat.

"Oh. Naruto. Hey." I don't show my emotions. He moves closer and must be tired since he's moving slower.

And I can't help it, I smile.

"Why are you staring out the window?" he says and smiles sheepishly and gets a pinkish tint. I sit back and drink in the feeling of...happiness.

"Dobe…I'm looking at the sea. We'll go home soon and, well, I like the way it looks at night" I say and I know I must have a pinkish tint too. This feels...great. The warmth, the familiarity, the comfort. Like we've done this all out lives.

"Sasuke...Sasuke I don't want to annoy you" a smile "Ok maybe I do but why did you save me?"

I start to answer but I pause. I'm thinking.

"Naruto, I don't know. I couldn't abandon you, I..." Silence. He's looking at me. My body is moving on its own, closer to him. My fingertips are barely on his thigh. I look up in horror, my breath fast and ragged. I'm trying to stop this.

To stay quiet and aloof.

But the words are fighting back and they can't be stopped now. "But also because of this"

I kiss him.

God he tastes **good**. Everything I've ever wanted is in this moment. He's so **warm**. My hand is somehow on his.

Wait! This is wrong! It's Naruto, Dammit! In a snap i can control my body. I pull away in absolute terror.

How the hell did we end up on the **floor**! And he's looking at me in fear.

Fear and shock and confusion. "I'm sorry. I'm really sorry" I babble. Then I bolt.

I've never moved so fast. the wind is slapping my face, my legs are a blur, my heart's pounding in my ear and all I can think is what did I DO? Over and over and over.


	2. Chapter 2

Day dawned.

It seemed like eons of time had passed between one day and the next.

For two young ninjas at least. The rest of the world had felt the time pass in mere hours for that was all they were.

Naruto felt old, older than the Hokage. He hadn't slept all night, as the same thing played over and over again in his mind like a broken projector reel.

Sasuke beside him.

Sasuke talking to him.

Sasuke kissing him.

Sasuke not kissing him.

Sasuke running away and leaving him.

Leaving him very confused, scared, and oddly pleased on cold floor thinking about things he'd never considered.

But that kiss...that kiss had been so wonderful, so insanely right and wrong at the same time. What did all this mean? After all he had kissed back...Sakura was calling him to breakfast.

But he was sure that in a few minutes he'd send him out to find Sasuke.

------------(Sasuke's POV)--------------

I feel miserable.

Maybe even the worst I've ever felt.

I'm sitting in the tree Naruto and i ran up a while ago. Funny seems like years ago. Naruto and i...

It seems so natural so right, Naruto and i.

His taste is haunting. Every once in a while I taste it again in some corner of my mouth and it's like tasting it for the first time. His flavor's sort of like ramen, sugar, and...Something like butter. I want to get it from the source.

I want Naruto.

Gods, do I **want** him! But it will never happen. He must hate me now. It'll never be the same will it? No matter what I do. I screwed up. My life is over, isn't it? But the thing that will pain me most is that I will never ever have the thing I want **most**.

**Naruto**.

**My** Naruto.

My angel.

No matter what happens in my life he will always hold a place in my heart. A wounded, bleeding part that will never heal. The loss of him will pain me forever.

Oh.

The sun's coming up. The warmth of the rays is comforting, but it reminds me of the warmth I want most, the one I'll never feel again.

The warmth of Naruto.

Sakura must be calling everyone to breakfast...

My eyes are closed but I'm not asleep. How could I be?


	3. Chapter 3

"Sasuke?"

His shy question shatters my thoughts. "Na-Naruto" I choke out.

We can't look each other in the eyes, barely managing to greet each other.

I've really screwed up. I look at the ground my cheeks blazing. Now he's sitting beside me and I can't breathe.

"Sasuke..." he starts and doesn't finish.

You could cut the tension with a chainsaw.

It's time to say something. Anything. I take a deep breath and turn to look at the blonde now sitting beside me.

"Naruto I'm sorry..."

He looks away

"So terribly sorry. I couldn't stop myself..." I trail of, and he can't even look at me. So I look away too and fight against my tears.

"I know the feeling" barely a whisper.

I swerve my head with impossible speed. He has a dead, haunted look in his eyes. Like he's seeing through me. That look makes me nauseous; even then I don't turn away. Staring straight into my eyes he raises his hand mechanically and runs his hand through my hair with amazing tenderness.

As if a door had been opened a wild hungry insane **passion** ran through me and we kissed again. I hardly felt when my back crashed against the tree trunk as Naruto pinned me. I was too focused on having **_him_** to care about our surroundings. I was spinning in a violent whirlpool of kissing groping and hanging onto each other for dear life.

Then we felt the need to breathe and he broke off leaving me gasping with raw lips.

I stretched and found a more comfortable position I settled into. Naruto then nestled into me like a kitten. "Looks like everything's gonna be okay"

I smile.

He's right.


End file.
